Vegan/Non-Vegan Relationships. Can They Work?

Regardless of the warm and fuzziness you feel about the relationship, I am here today to tell you that it can’t.

And the more your persist with it, the more you are selling yourself and veganism short.

To be clear, when I refer to someone as vegan, I am referring to those labelled as ‘dogmatic’, ‘purist’, etc.

I am not talking about those who consume a plant-based/reducetarian/x% ‘vegan’ diet. Because we know there is a huge difference between the two.

Relationships, Not Dating

In this article, I am talking about long term relationships.

Not, short term ‘dating’.

By this I mean where the two of you live together, and are heavily involved in each others lives.

If you are only interested in dating, it could work, though that depends on where your line is drawn.

You Have Been Hoodwinked

Sure, there are some ‘leaders’ who claim that vegan/non-vegan relationships can work. They are probably also the same ones who tell you that being vegan is similar to being vegetarian.

They probably also tell you that we should ‘get along’, because we all have the same ‘goals.

The reality of things is, if you hear this from a vegan, they probably don’t understand what veganism is.

Or worse, they are telling you what you want to hear.

Why Are You Vegan?

For a majority of people it will be for ‘animal rights’ reasons. That is, you believe that other animals have moral rights that should not be dismissed or ignored.

If so, can you really spend your life with someone who ignores your beliefs and does what they want?

Let me put it another way.

Let’s say that you are in an ‘exclusive’ relationship, because you think that is the morally right thing to do.

How long would you tolerate your partner ignoring that, and sleeping around, or going out to ‘pick up’ every night?

I would be willing to bet that it wouldn’t be too long.

So, why would you accept it if your partner consumed other animals?

The Difference Will Become An Inconvenience

No matter how much time you spend in that river in Egypt, or how much you want to sugar coat it, having one partner that is vegan WILL become an inconvenience.

In a past relationship of mine, it started just before dinner time.

The smell of animal flesh being cooked in the kitchen was making me nauseous.

Thankfully at the time I was a shift worker, so I didn’t have to endure dinner being cooked that often. Though when I did, I literally had to leave the kitchen while dinner was being cooked.

From there, things got worse.

Going to the fridge became torture due to seeing and smelling a piece of animal flesh in there.

The final nail in the coffin came one Christmas.

Rather than going out somewhere for Chrissy lunch, I offered to make a full on, ‘vegan’ lunch for my now ex-wife and her family.

I was told no, that my ex-wife’s mother wanted to go somewhere where she didn’t have to worry about cooking or cleaning up.

I should have taken that as a sign.

Except I didn’t.

Anyway, we all arrived at the club for lunch, and walking up to the door, I kid you not, all I could smell was animal flesh.

Being a buffet, there wasn’t the opportunity to request a meal, so I made do with a very disappointing garden salad.

During the meal, I bit my tongue while the people I was out with complained about the pig flesh being dry. The marine animals being small. And the bovine animal flesh being over-cooked.

Needless to say, that was the last Christmas I spent with that family.

Love Will Get Us Through

I don’t doubt that there will be many people who believe this.

Except that life isn’t always rainbows and lollipops. There will come a time where tough questions have to be asked.

If your partner does love you, would they put you in a situation that made you feel uncomfortable?

If they do love you, would they continue to do something that you goes against your morals?

I genuinely do believe, that if they love you, they WILL go vegan.

Life Is Complicated

By no means am I saying that once you go vegan that you should only date other vegans.

What I am saying is that we need to stop believing the fairytale that we will meet the person of our dreams and they will go vegan, living happily ever after.

Good for you, if that has happened.

Though you do need to prepare yourself for the reality that it may not, and if it doesn’t what’s to come.

If you were in a relationship before you went vegan, then once again, that is a decision you need to make yourself.

While we are vegans living in a non-vegan world. We shouldn’t be selling ourselves short or lose our self respect simply to be in a relationship.

We are all worth more than.

This article was written by the founder of VeganPolice.com.au, Cameron Blewett.

Cameron is a long term vegan (25+yrs), and is passionate about veganism, and helping people to understand more about animal rights.

You can find Cameron’s other rants on his website, CameronBlewett.xyz

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1 Comment

  1. Sex and ‘love’ are high priorities for most people, so they have a strong urge to rationilize nonvegan partners (although this doesn’t apply in the same way to people who met before they were vegan). “Rationalization is a process not of perceiving reality, but of attempting to make reality fit one’s emotions.” But then we come to another issue – what’s a vegan? Are people who promote ‘welfare’ or single issues vegan? How so, if the idea of veganism is to *avoid* animal use?


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